Gratitude

"Gratitude turns what we have into enough" - Melody Beattie

Playa de los Genoveses, Cabo de Gata, Almeria, Spain

I don’t know how many of you out there have been so far below the surface that you could not imagine feeling, ever again, the pleasure of deep breathing or a genuine smile on your own face.

The last two years of my life have been filled with more pain than I was prepared to cope with. Two years ago this month I lost my father. He passed away suddenly. I lost my mother this past April after her elegant, yet long battle with Parkinson’s and Dementia. My daughter moved to Madrid to live with her father just before my father died. Sometime in the past year I began having recollections of abuse I suffered as a very young adult. They fully surfaced after the death of my mother, as if my repressed memories waited for her to pass so she would not have to witness my pain of going through trauma therapy.

During all of this I continued to work as usual with my responsibilities sometimes exceeding my mental and physical capability. I swam through brutal nightmares alternated with sleepless nights. Months would pass by without my being able to take a breath deep enough to feel the oxygen in my body. It always stopped at my throat. I juggled regular therapy with my busy travel schedule, and finally did an EMDR intensive which was brutally painful. But, I pushed forward and finally made it over that wall of trauma and pain.

It was almost impossible to keep on my writing through all of this. I tried, here and there, to share a bit of my travels and experiences but it was difficult to access that part of myself.

So I am here to say how grateful I am to have a group of people who actually are interested in hearing my stories. A few of you I met on Medium, and I am so grateful to continue sharing with you here. Along with you, the new group of kind souls that have gathered together here have given me so much inspiration to continue writing and sharing.

I am also blessed to have a loving partner and friends. And, my sister and her children. I did choose to distance myself from some family and certain people in the past couple years. A good decision for myself.

I feel I have resurfaced in the past couple months and am finally ready to give a part of me again!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for subscribing and following me. Thank you for your kind words and inspiration.

I have so much to share and it will come out in the next few months. I share so much verbally when I am working with my groups while traveling that sometimes I forget to put that into written form. I am now going to make a conscious effort to do so here!

I am sending all of my love and gratitude to all of you. Thank you, again and again.

Margaret Gypsy